1. Identify Your Flock

Not everyone can handle a large flock. That is why Moses directed to put people in charge of 10s, 50s, 100s, and 1000s.

Start Small
You probably can't handle a thousand yet, and probably a hundred would be overwhelming. So let's start with smaller numbers. Let's all begin with the smallest denominator for a flock - JUST THREE. Whether that three be three families or three individual let's clearly define our responsibility. Some of you may have more experience and can handle shepherding FIVE families, or five individuals. Others can handle TEN. Whatever your case load start with just THREE. It is manageable!

Natural Bridges
It may be your Sunday school class, Bible study group, or some new families in the church. We are not going to "assign" you a flock. We want you to choose your own flock. That way it is your choice, not ours. It is what God has put in your heart, not us putting that responsibility in you lap.

Congregation Lists
Use the church list we have prepared to peruse the names prayerfully. Let's do as the elders do and go through the list together making commentary as we go. God will highlight certain people to your heart. He will assign you a burden for them.

Targeted List
As you go through the church list make your own list of potential members of your flock. That is wherever the Lord prompts you with a concern or burden for a name or family write it down. Keep this list to 10 families or individuals. It is from this target list that you will prayerfully select 3 that will become your flock for the year. Be careful to be honest with your own heart. Can you build a relationship with this family or person? Are you willing to go the extra mile to do so? Do you already have some common thread that draws you to them?

Write Them Down
It is always good to formalize this assignment before God. A covenant with God should be written. It should be something like this.

Lord, today _________________ (date), I sense your call to be involved in the spiritual wellbeing of the following people. _____________________ (name, address, telephone) _____________________ (name, address, telephone) _____________________ (name, address, telephone) I will commit myself to meet regularly with my prayer partner, to pray regularly for and with these people, make and build a friendship with them, and to work to enfold them into the larger body of Christ through hospitality and fellowship.

Add more if the Lord directs you.

2. Choose a Prayer & Ministry Partner

No man is an island, no man stands alone.
Even Elijah and Moses learned the hard way that loners are not God's way. Find at least one other person who is willing to be your prayer and accountability partner. (See our Prayer Partner and Accountability Guide) Covenant together your prayer time - at least once each week. Remember God's principle that two are better than one, and three are even better.

Look for a threesome.
A threefold cord is not easily broken. That prayer partner and ministry friend may not be in the church shepherding group. It may be someone who is not a shepherd but who cares enough to consistently meet with you for prayer. Three people make a triangle, like Moses, Aaron, and Hur. A prayer triangle is stronger than just two people. Two is OK, but three is even better.

If you are an elder or a deacon you might want to look for another elder or deacon to partner with, since you share the same or similar ministry concerns. If you are a teacher you might want to team up with another teacher or two. Sometimes the best thing to do is to enlist another prayer warrior who is not a shepherd. It exposes them to the shepherd's heart. They may find they really are shepherd, but just lack interpersonal skills.

A Word of Caution
Prayer partners should be of the same sex. Praying together is private and often a transparent and intimate setting where emotions, thoughts, and cares are shared freely. Too many believers have fallen into sin by building an intimate relationship with a well-meaning member of the opposite sex.

3. Pray For Your Flock

Remember, this is the most important thing you can do for and with your flock. Schedule prayer! Pray for them regularly. It may be every day, or three times a week, but be regular. Make it a routine, a habit, an cycle.

Pray Alone
You may already have a prayer discipline and praying for your flock will fit naturally into that. If not, you will need to assign a time for yourself to pray for them. Jesus said, "Enter into your "closet" and shut the door." Find a quiet time and place where you can pray. It does not need to be a long period of time. But do it consistently. Some have found that lunch time at work is ideal. Just steal away from everyone for 5-6 minutes every noon hour, or three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Pray With Prayer Partner
This should be done weekly at a pre-determined time. Be consistent. Don't be changing the time and place from week to week. I guarantee it won't work that way!

Plan a Prayer Retreat
Every third of fourth month try planning a prayer get-away. It could be an all Sunday afternoon in the woods, an all day Saturday at a retreat center, and overnight trip to a cabin in the woods. Use that time to bathe your flock in prayer.

Be Alert for Opportunities To Pray With Your Sheep
I have made a personal commitment not to tell people that I am going to pray for them with actually stopping right then and there (wherever, on the street, on the phone, in the church foyer) to pray WITH THEM. Where possible and advisable I lay a hand on their shoulder while I pray with them. That is a powerful experience for you and them. Don't miss out on it!

4. Get to Know Them - Words

Connect with them.
Talk with them. Greet them. Make them feel loved, liked, and welcome in the fellowship. Be careful not to suffocate them. Give them space. Don't be obcessive. They don't belong to you!

Encouragement Cards
An encouragement card is a wonderful little tool. It's key ingredient is its simplicity, it is personal, it is you. Usually it is nothing more than a 3x5 card put in an envelope or handed to an individual. It is not commercially made. On it you write some personal word of encouragement, a compliment, a verse of Scripture, or just to say you have been thinking of them and praying for them.

Verbal Bouquet
I have been practicing the verbal card. Whenever I have had a particular burden for someone during the week when I see them on Sunday I tell them so. The reaction is varied but more often than not they say, "Wow! I appreciate that. I was having some difficult moments this week. Thank you!"

Birthday Cards
Birthdays and Anniversaries are important to a lot of people even if they aren't to you personally. I get a card from the President of our denomination, and the President of some colleges, but they are always and obviously prepared in bulk an impersonal. I have determined never to send such a card that contains only my signature. It try to send a personal note to each individual on their birthday or anniversary.

Humorous Items
People like to laugh. Life is often too serious for many of God's people. So lighten up! Laugh a little. You don't have to be serious all the time.

Telephone
Use it sparingly. We all know people who can bend your ear about nothing at all for an hour. You know how uncomfortable that makes you (how do you hang up graciously?). For shepherding use it when you know a family member is in the hospital, when there is a notable event in their lives (won the Nobel Peace Prize), or when you haven't seen them in church for two or three weeks. A simple phone call may be all to takes to avoid make a wandering sheep feel loved and wanted. (P.S. Telephones are easier for women than for most men.) Use it sparingly!

E-mail
One of the banes of our electronic communication is the "forward to..." button on your e-mail. If you love someone - DON'T!!! If something is worth sharing share it personally. NEVER forward already forwarded junk mail. It may be cute, informative, or even urgent, but come on, we can only receive so many forwards without reaching overload. If you have to forward something at the very least "cut and past it into your own e-mail message without the annoying "<" preceding each line. Communicate person to person!

E-cards Are Fun
E-cards are fun but don't overdo it. For humorous cards try http://www.rubberchickencards.com or you might want to consider some more serious encouraging electronic cards.

5. Practice Hospitality

Practice makes perfect.
You are not perfect yet, and neither am I, so we have to start where we are. Start small and begin slowly. I find the only way to get things done is to schedule it on my calendar. Make it a planned event. Join with your prayer and ministry partner(s) and do it together with them it that helps.

Plan your work, and work your plan! Plan the next three months at least. Every three months set up a new calendar. Review with your accountability partner on how well your did. Then try again for another three months.

Think and Do
Think of hospitality events and encounters, that are natural and comfortable for you. It could be scheduling for a breakfast, lunch, or coffee time together. Maybe its playing a round of golf together, bowling, going to a ball game, or a game night at someone's house. Use what works for you.

Keep is simple.
The idea of hospitality is to be friendly and informal, not to impress them with your house or table settings. Most of us live in simple homes. Even if your home is not a simple homey house it can be when you invite someone over. (You do invite people over, don't you?)