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You are really poor when you are so broke you can't even pay attention?
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A will is a dead giveaway.
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He who buys a mobile home doesn't get a lot.
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What's the quickest way to double your money?
Fold it in half.
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Death and taxes go hand in hand. Taxes are murder and murder is
taxing.
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Did you hear about the Scotsman who punished his son for buying
an all-day sucker at 4 p.m?
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The man who is too big for a small job is too small for a big one.
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Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.
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Marriage is an institution that turns a night owl into a homing pigeon.
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People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
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A hypocrite is a man who writes a book praising atheism and then prays
that it will sell.
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Politicians are like ships - noisiest when lost in a fog.
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Yesterday is experience, tomorrow is hope, today is getting from one to
the other as best we can.
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Snap judgments have a way of becoming unfastened.
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You don't get ulcers from what you eat - you get them from what's eating
you.
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It's O.K. to be a self-made man if you don't consider the job finished
too soon.
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To grow old outside is human, to keep young inside is divine.
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